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Threads Of Being

Of the Heart and of the Mind. Three point one four one five nine.


Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Phone Calls 

Okay, so, I was supposed to talk to Jennifer today on the phone to keep her company as she drives cross country moving. I couldn't remember if I was supposed to call her or she was supposed to call me, so since I don't have her cell phone number I decide it must be that she's going to call me. I go to sleep early, and wake up at like 8:30. Having no clue when she's going to call, I actually Get up and read in my room with the door open so I can hear the phone. Time Passes, no call. I check my email. There's a note saying to call her in the afternoon, with her cell phone number. I decide to be all cutesy and try to call at 12:01. The phone tells me, "Your call can not be completed as dialed, please check the number, and try again."So I check the number, dial again, and since it's a cell phone number, I leave off the one in front, to be careful. The phone tells me, "You must dial a one or zero, plus the area code, to place this call. Please hang up and try again.". Okay.... So I try again. Doesn't work. I check the number. Doesn't work. So I email Jen, telling her what happened, and that I'll keep trying, cause Hopefully she'll check her mail tonight, and see, and not be mad at me. Then I remember I have her dad's address, so I call 411 (that's information here, I don't know about the rest of the planet) and get his number. I call. I get the machine. I keep trying all afternoon to get in touch with Jen or someone to see if they can give me her cell number, cause the one thing I really Can't STAND is for one of my friends to be mad or upset with me. I mean, If I'm in a serious confrontation with someone who matters with me, and we argue, I'll yell and such back, but if I think they're mad at me, it's the one thing that will seriously shatter me most of the time.

Like I said, I kept trying, and finally about 6:30ish in the afternoon, I'm sitting down, having basically given up for the night. Then the phone rings. Mom answers it. She hands it to me. I say 'Hello' and someone, female voice, on the other line says, 'Emi'. I think it's Jen, cause it sort of sounds like her voice, and I say, 'Jen! I've been trying to call you all afternoon but the cell phone number you gave me doesn't work!" As I'm speaking, the line starts to crackle, and goes dead. I say, "Hello? Hello?" a few times, then dial *69 (call back). I get a busy signal, so I quit, but My phone doesnt' ring. I try again, and I'm worried that maybe somethings wrong, although I also know it might not have been Jen. I get a fax machine. I try again. Fax Machine.

By now I'm worried, upset, and Peeved. I call Jen's dad's house again, and ask for Mr. Or Mrs. German. I can't remember what exactly the person on the other line, but I thought I'd gotten the wrong number. Try again, still think I'd gotten the wrong number. But that confuses me, cause I got the machine earlier. I ask for her step mom, and the person says, "Oh, she's not here." and I explain that I'm a friend of Jen, and ask for her cell phone number. Jen's step sister says she doesnt' know it, but gives me Jen's DAD's Cell phone number. I debate for a while weather or not it's over kill to call it, it probably WAS over kill, but I'm the sort to start panicking, cause the way it was cut off, I worried that something might have happened. I call, and Jen's Step Mom answers. Turns out they are in California, (Now, her dad and step mom live in Michigan, and her step sisters answered the phone there). I feel like a TOTAL Idiot. Her step mom was nice, she doesn't know Jen's cell phone number, and I ring off. Now Jen is probably going to think I'm completely nuts because of all this and maybe even be mad when she finds out, who knows what will happen. I'm not sure she will, but I'm not sure she won't. So now I'm sitting here, Worrying. One of the top things on my really Scary list is something happening to one of my friends and my not knowing it, or finding out until it's too late. I worry about my friends, a lot. Probably more than I should, but I don't think it's anything I need therapy over. So I've been slightly on the edge of a panic attack for the last little while, which is really stupid. I'm going to post this, then I think I... I don't know what I'll do, probably keep trying to talk myself down. I'm a stupid, annoying bitch, I know.


Monday, July 28, 2003

Inspired By Emily 

One day
I sat down
And I thought

I thought
So hard
I could not stop

As thoughts
Came by
Unceaseingly

I thought
Perhaps
I could not be!


(to be continued...)

Saturday, July 26, 2003

I thought  

I thought. Yes, a difficult concept to believe, Me actually thinking, but I thought it might be a good idea to go ahead and write something, so I figured a note of thanks to my Great Friend Jennifer for all of her help, support, kindness and friendship might be in order. So, Thanks Jen, you're the best.

Friday, July 25, 2003

Testing - Questioning 

Don't mind me, just need a post up so I can actually view the blog. This will be deleted later.

Or perhaps just edited later! Lol. Hey Em, I think I've gotten the layout how I want it. Do you like? If so, all we have left to do is choose colors!

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